Lunchtime Conversations

If you've never had a two-year-old, you may not understand why people claim that their two-year-olds drive them crazy. My husband's grandma assures me that one day I'll miss this stage, so for history's sake here is a little glimpse into a typical lunchtime routine with my two-year-old. How long until I go crazy? You decide.

Me: It’s time for lunch. What do you want?

Lia: Chocolate milk.

Me: You can’t have milk for lunch. What do you want to eat?

Lia: Red juice.

Me: No, Lia, you can’t have a drink for lunch, you have to EAT.

Lia: No! I don’t want to eat!

Me: Do you want lasagna or pancakes?

Lia: I want Boogeyman.

Me: Lia, don’t be silly.

Lia: (laughs)

Me: Do you want lasagna?

Lia: Yeah, masamna.

Me: Okay, I’ll get you some lasagna.

Lia: No! I don’t want it.

Me: You don’t want lasagna?

Lia: Yes, I do.

Me: Lia, if I give you lasagna, are you going to eat it?

Lia: No. Yes. No. Boogeyman.

(I get her some lasagna.)

Me: Here, eat your lasagna.

Lia: I want chocolate pudding.

(A few minutes later)

Me: Lia, eat another bite of lasagna.

Lia: What?

Me: I said eat another bite of lasagna.

Lia: What

Me: Eat. A. Bite!

Lia: Why?

Me: Because I told you to.

Lia: Why?

Me: Because it’s lunchtime and you need to eat.
Lia: What?

Me: I said you need to eat!

Lia: Why?

Me: STOP THAT.

Lia: Why? 

Me (with my head in my hands) Lia, just eat your lunch.

Lia: Eat my BOOGEYMAN! (laughs hysterically)